Category Archives: Stupidity

Tony the Techie (or how my Colleagues Made Fun of Me)

Tony the Techie (or how my Colleagues Made Fun of Me)

Each year, as a part of my employer’s christmas Party,there is a tradition of singing parody songs about funny/memorable/characteristic things other colleagues have done in the previous year. This year, I got picked on.

Tony the Tech Man (to the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”)

Tony the tech man

Was a jolly techy soul

With a brand new JAWS, and a CD rom and two cell phones in the bowl

Go for a plunger

We need it right away

Check here and there

And at ace hardware, don’t forget about ebay

Flushedy flush flush

Flushedy flush flush

Round the bowl they go

Clickety click click

Clickety click click

Look at that techy go!

If you haven’t already figured out why this was necessary, here’s the backstory.

Some of you know that I can be a terminal clutss. Parenthetically, my Mom would likely attribute this to the fact that I tend to move at warp 3 and don’t always pay enough attention to where I’m going… and she’s probably correct. Sadly, this got the better of me twice, as i sent two cell phones for a swim in the toilet.

The first one was back in March at a hotel in LA. I had tossed a bottle of Coke into the trash can and missed. While leaning over to pick it up my fat belly dislodged the quick release clip on my phone case. It was one of those moments where time slows to a crawl, and you fight the inevitable, but you know no matter what you do, that thing is slipping from where it has come to rest, between you and the top of the toilet seat, and going in. As it is prone to do, time reengages.

*Mad grab for phone. Splash! Explative deleted. yank phone from bowl; shake madly; tear off case; yank battery and SIM chip; out of insane despiration (this was a pricey phone after all) suck as much water from the speaker grill and headphone jack as possible (no, i did not swallow it), thanking God that you hadn’t just contaminated the toilet prior to this incident; rip the hair drier from the wall, turn it on high and blast the phone for 15 minutes; After a while, give the unit up as lost and scour the convention for a dealer selling new units; strike out; IM spouse from the hotel bar and say you’ll be out of contact for a while; bang head against wall; borrow demo phone from employer for trip home.

Fortunately, the phone actually survived. I powered it up the next morning after flying back to Baltimore and things worked again.

The second time, with my iPhone, I was not so lucky. Basically this time it slipped out of my hand while I was trying to answer a call and shot behind me into a toilet at work. This time I was not so ready to admit it to Treva, both out of self-annoyance and the knowledge that I would quite likely experience a great deal of ribbing. Unfortunately, the 3g radio was a casualty of the water and I had to do an out of warranty replacement (thanks Apple for adding that option and not making me suffer the full cost of replacing the phone).

So that’s what lead my wonderful friends at work to sing about me. Oh, you can all thank Treva for this post too. 🙂

I Will Not Be Eating There For A While

I Will Not Be Eating There For A While

Every so often the local paper publishes the results of the Health Department’s inspections of local eateries and other establishments involved in the preparation, sale, and/or distribution of food and food like products.

This month’s “EWWW! That’s. So. Nasty.” award goes to.

*drum roll*

Bob Evans Restaurant 454, 950 Mendleson Drive, Richmond, Sept. 21. Critical — 6: 1) Employees were observed changing gloves without washing their hands. 2) An employee was observed placing cheese on top of an omelet with bare hands. 3) An employee was observed handling raw sausage patties and bacon and then handling toast without changing gloves. 4) Cottage cheese at the waitress station measured 46. 5) The can opener in the rear prep area is soiled with a build-up of food debris. 6) Clean dishes stored in the salad prep cooler are soiled with a build-up of fallen food debris. Non-Critical — 1.

That, in case you are wondering, is why I will only consume food at the east side location for the time being.

*cringe* BLECK!