Category Archives: Just For Funn

Public Safety Christmas Carols, Part 2

Public Safety Christmas Carols, Part 2

I already picked on the dispatchers in my last parody. So, here is the as yet untitled EMS Day carol (to the tune of Jingle Bells). It needs some work in parts, so feel free to chime in in the comments.

Sliding through the snow
in a rig that’s got no breaks
there’s been no time for coffee
we’re both getting the shakes.
Dispatch is on our ass
to clear for another call.
I just wanna clean my rig of this puke and alcohol.

[chorus]
Pager tones,
dispatch drones
tell us where to go.
No time to eat or drink or pee
we’ve gotta hit the road.
L O L says she fell,
your basic lift assist.
My partner’s getting really sad
for the lunch we’re gonna miss.

Restocking in the bay
the Charge Nurse stares us down.
“Get back in your rig
and drive out of my town.
All your bringing me
is crackheads, drunks, and liars.
If I see you two again
I swear I’ll slash your tires.”

[chorus]
Pager tones.
Dispatch drones,
tell us where to go.
No time to eat or drink or pee
we’ve gotta hit the road.
MVC, she tells me
the callers are all pissed.
My partner just broke out in tears
for the lunch that we just missed.

Roll up on the scene.
No patients to be found.
Just some ugly marks,
and a road sign on the ground.
Clear on the MDT.
Head off to McDee’s
Then the stupid robot sqwalks at me
“Incident Assigned!”

[chorus]
Pager tones.
dispatch drones, tell us where to go
No time to eat or drink or pee,
we’ve gotta hit the road
You call we haul
is what we tell ’em all
Not just something that we say.
It’s been fun
now I gotta run.
Hashtag my EMS Day

Public Safety Christmas Carols, Part 1

Public Safety Christmas Carols, Part 1

I’m a pretty big fan of parody music, including certain holiday parodies. From time to time my own creative juices flow. Recently I’ve cooked up a couple parody songs for my friends in public safety. Here’s the first finished one, an ode to a new dispatcher who … needs a little help.

I’m Still A Trainee At Christmas

(to the tune of “I’m Gettin’ Nuthin’ for Christmas”)

I dropped the wrong department’s tones.
Somebody snitched on me.
I disconnected all the phones.
Somebody snitched on me.
Told a caller to grow a pair,
“suck it up man life’s not fair”.
Guess I shouldn’t have gone there,
cuz somebody snitched on me.

[chorus]
I’m still a trainee at Christmas.
My supervisor is mad.
I’m still a trainee at Christmas.
She says I’m the worst one she’s had.

Sent fire to a cat in a tree.
Somebody snitched on me.
Faked warrants in NCIC.
Somebody snitched on me.
Mixed up the disposition codes.
renamed half the county roads.
remote killed the chief’s radio.
And somebody snitched on me.

[chorus]
So, I’m still a trainee at Christmas.
My supervisor is mad.
I’m still a trainee at Christmas.
She says I’m the worst one she’s had.

I won’t be seeing Bonus claus.
Somebody snitched on me.
I won’t get my days off because,
somebody snitched on me.
Next year I will get it right.
Next year they’ll cheer with delight.
Don’t tell ’em I crashed CAD tonight.
Please nobody snitch on me.

[chorus]
Cuz, I’m still a trainee at christmas.
My supervisor is mad.
I’m still a trainee at Christmas.
She says I’m the worst one she’s had.

The preceeding parody is delivered for fun and entertainment. Any resemblance to any person(s) who are now, have ever been, or ever will be engaged in the profession of public safety communications is strictly coincidental, and potentially unfortunate. No disrespect is intended either. I have the highest respect for everyone in the PS field.

Top 15 Worst Ways to Celebrate World Environment Day

Top 15 Worst Ways to Celebrate World Environment Day

In honor of today being Earth Day (andsince TSDiveDani on Twitter made me think of it) I dug back into the e-mail archives and found a copy of Topfive.com’s Top 15 Worst Ways to Celebrate World Environment Day. (please don’t flame, it’s for humor’s sake).

      The Top 15 Bad Ways to Celebrate World Environment Day
15> Lemur kabobs for everyone!

14> Set up a booth at the nearest mall called “The Wonderful World of Natural Fertilizer.”

13> Issue a proclamation thanking lesser-developed nations for their unquestioning acceptance of leaky metal oil drums.

12> Same as always — watchin’ the game, drinkin’ a Bud.

11> Barbecue some California Condor wings and Snow Tiger steaks over a Styrofoam cup bonfire.

10> Have a swim in the water tank like those hotties from “Petticoat Junction.”

 9> Use Quaker State, Jack Daniels and some pigeons to perform a re-creation of the Exxon Valdez disaster in the town fountain.

 8> Forget the hug — give that maple in your backyard some hot monkey love.

 7> Spray-paint a giant mural depicting the loss of the ozone layer.

 6> Release Linda Tripp back into the wild.

 5> Bring attention to the issue of erosion by cutting the bands holding back Cher’s face.

 4> Left hand: weed whacker;  Right hand: leaf blower.

 3> Stay up all night doing Jaegermeister shots with Captain Hazelwood.

 2> Observe a moment of silence after re-filling your new Ford Behemoth SUV’s gas tank.

              and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Bad Way to Celebrate World Environment Day…

 1> 800 cans of hairspray.  One senior prom.  Any questions?

Lifepod Meme

Lifepod Meme

Saw this on Facebook and Treva and I did it (separate MP3 players). Some of these are funny, others… odd. Leave a comment if you play along.

1. if you got tagged for this note – no worries if you don’t have time, but I find it very interesting knowing what’s on your iPod and it’s kinda fun – but you need to copy/paste this into your own facebook note or blog, delete my answers, and answer the questions using your own ipod.
2. put the ipod on shuffle
3. use it to answer the question
4. hit “next”
5. don’t cheat
6. tag some of your friends so they’ll do the same

1. How am I feeling today?
Tony: Shout to the North – Martin Smith
Treva: Oh My Lord – Kid Brothers of St. Frank

2. How far will I get in life?
Tony: You Shook Me All Night Long – ACDC
Treva: It’s Not Just Me – Rascal Flatts

3. What is my best friend’s theme song?
Tony: You’re Not My God – Keith Urban
Treva: Don’t Cheat in Our Hometown – Ricky Skaggs

4. What was high school like?
Tony: All Summer Long – Beach Boys
Treva: Turn the Radio Up – Eric Carmen

6. What is in store for me this weekend?
Tony: Love’s Recovery – Indigo Girls
Treva: America – Passion

7. What is the best thing about me?
Tony: Beauty and the Beast – Disney
Treva: Reborn – Rebecca St. James

8. What song is about my parents?
Tony: Emanuel – Michael W. Smith
Treva: Blue Christmas – Vince Gill

9. How is my life going?
Tony: Spanish Castle Magic – Jimmy Hendrix
Treva: Insensative – LeAnn Rhimes

10. What song will they play at my funeral?
Tony: Over You – Daughtry
Treva: When Love Comes to Life – Out of the Grey

11. How does the world see me?
Tony: That’s A Plan – Mark McGuin
Treva: You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly – Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn

12. What do my friends think of me?
Tony: Follow Your Dreams – Raze
Treva: Someday – Alan Jackson

13. Do people secretly think I’m good looking?
Tony: Substitute – The Who
Treva: I’d Rather Ride Around With You – Reba McEntire

14. How can I make myself happy?
Tony: NormaJean Riley
Treva: Fly Away – Allison Kraus and Julia Weltch

15. What should I do with my life?
Tony: Eyes Without A Face – Billy Idol
Treva: Sweet Little Jesus Boy – Rebecca St. James

16. What is some good advice?
Tony: Shine Jesus Shine – Rich Mullins
Treva: Holy and Anointed One – Randy Butler

17. Will I get married?
Tony: I Slipped and Fell In Love – Alan Jackson
Treva: Cajun Moon – Ricky Skaggs

18. Where will I go in life?
Tony: Reality – Newsboys
Treva: Santa Clause Is Coming to Town – Straight No Chaser

19. Will I have kids?
Tony: Glorify Thy Name – Donna Aktins
Treva: Wish I Didn’t Know Now – Toby Keith

20. What is my current theme song?
Tony: Rodeo – Garth Brooks
Treva: This Time – California Dreams

I danced with Chuck Norris because Big Bird said to and he’s my leader.

I danced with Chuck Norris because Big Bird said to and he’s my leader.

I got this in e-mail, but decided to unleash it on the blogosphere. Since most of these involve tagging I tag everyone who reads this (it’s my secret plot to figure out who reads this blog). Leave your response in the comments or put it on your own blog and pingback. Have fun!!

Pick the month you were born:

January——-I kicked
February——I loved
March——–I karate chopped
April———-I licked
May——– –I jumped on
June———-I smelled
July———–I did the Macarena With
August——–I had lunch with
September—-I danced with
October——-I sang to
November—–I yelled at
December—–I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1——-a birdbath
2——-a monster
3——-a phone
4——-a fork
5——-a snowman
6——-a gangster
7——-my mobile phone
8——-my dog
9——-my best friends’ boyfriend
10——-my neighbor
11——-my science teacher
12——-a banana
13——-a fireman
14——-a stuffed animal
15——-a goat
16——-a pickle
17——-your mom
18——-a buffalo
19—— – a smurf
20——-a baseball bat
21——-a ninja
22——-Chuck Norris
23——-a noodle
24——-a squirrel
25——-a football player
26——-President Bush
27——-David Letterman
28——-an ipod
29——-a surfer
30——-a llama
31——-A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:

White—- —–because I’m cool like that
Black———because that’s how I roll.
Pink———–because I’m crazy.
Red———–because the voices told me to.
Blue———–because I’m cute and I do what I want
Green———because I think I need some serious help.
Purple———because I’m AWESOME!
Gray———-because Big Bird said to and he’s my leader.
Yellow——–because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange——–because my family thinks I’m stupid anyway.
Brown———because I can..
Other———-because I’m a Ninja!
None———-because I can’t control myself!

Now come on. Play along. Just put it in the comments!

Driving Lessons

Driving Lessons

Today I got the chance to actually drive a car. One of our coworkers let Treva drive when she turned 25 and she told me she would let me do the same thing. We went to the parking lot of the Municipal Pool and I got to see what it’s like to drive.

I learned that it is not easy. I expected the car to start slowing down when I let off the gas. Yeah, not so much for a while. Also, hitting the breaks too hard is not a smart idea. I left a little rubber behind when I did it the first time.

Check out the video footage. I wish I had thought to put an audio recorder in the car and splice that onto the vid, but instead you get the color commentary of my coworkers. Enjoy.

Meme: Things You Have Done

Meme: Things You Have Done

Because I needed a break from procrastinating, and because y’all know without these things the Internet as we know it would collapse, here is a meme I got in e-mail this morning.

Just for the fun of it – place an X by all the things you’ve done, or remove the X from the ones you have not.

( ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Drank so much you threw up
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
( ) Been arrested
( ) Gone on a blind date
() Skipped School
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on an airplane
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(X) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
( ) Gone scuba diving  
(X) Felt like dying
( ) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang karaoke
(X) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(X) Made a prank phone call
( ) Laughed until you wet your pants
( ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sun rise with someone you cared about
(X) Blown bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach at the lake
(  ) Crashed a party
(X) Gone roller-skating
(X) Gone ice-skating

1. Any nicknames? Niner
2. Mothers name? Liz
3. Favorite Drink? Cherry Coke
4. Tattoos? No
5. Body piercing? No
6. How much do you love your job? I like what I do, but I’m working on finding a job I love.
7. Birthplace? Racine, Wisconsin
8. Favorite vacation spot? The Mariner of the Seas (cruise ship)
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yes
11. Ever been on TV? A couple of times.
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? No
13. Ever been in a car accident? I think two.
14. Do you like a 2 door or 4 door auto? As long as there is room to mount the radios I don’t care how many doors it has.
15. Favorite salad dressing? Blue cheese or ranch.
16. Favorite pie: Chocolate Peanut Butter
17. Favorite number? pi
18. Favorite movie? Twister and Apollo 13
19. Favorite Holiday? Christmas. 
20. Favorite dessert?  Cheesecake or pie
21. Favorite food? Steak
22. Favorite day of the week? Sunday
23. Favorite brand of body soap? Dove
24. Favorite toothpaste? Don’t care.
25. What do you do to relax? read
26. Do you have a message to your friends reading this? The time for Total World Domination is nigh, join me on my conquest. MEHHEHEHEHAHAHAHA 🙂
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? um… hopefully not fatter.
28. What do you do when you are bored?  read and nap
29. Furthest place you will send this message? Nebraska
30. Who will respond to this first? Not sure
31. Who is the least likely to respond? Treva

Now it’s your turn!