Author Archives: Tony

Top 15 Worst Ways to Celebrate World Environment Day

Top 15 Worst Ways to Celebrate World Environment Day

In honor of today being Earth Day (andsince TSDiveDani on Twitter made me think of it) I dug back into the e-mail archives and found a copy of’s Top 15 Worst Ways to Celebrate World Environment Day. (please don’t flame, it’s for humor’s sake).

      The Top 15 Bad Ways to Celebrate World Environment Day
15> Lemur kabobs for everyone!

14> Set up a booth at the nearest mall called “The Wonderful World of Natural Fertilizer.”

13> Issue a proclamation thanking lesser-developed nations for their unquestioning acceptance of leaky metal oil drums.

12> Same as always — watchin’ the game, drinkin’ a Bud.

11> Barbecue some California Condor wings and Snow Tiger steaks over a Styrofoam cup bonfire.

10> Have a swim in the water tank like those hotties from “Petticoat Junction.”

 9> Use Quaker State, Jack Daniels and some pigeons to perform a re-creation of the Exxon Valdez disaster in the town fountain.

 8> Forget the hug — give that maple in your backyard some hot monkey love.

 7> Spray-paint a giant mural depicting the loss of the ozone layer.

 6> Release Linda Tripp back into the wild.

 5> Bring attention to the issue of erosion by cutting the bands holding back Cher’s face.

 4> Left hand: weed whacker;  Right hand: leaf blower.

 3> Stay up all night doing Jaegermeister shots with Captain Hazelwood.

 2> Observe a moment of silence after re-filling your new Ford Behemoth SUV’s gas tank.

              and’s Number 1 Bad Way to Celebrate World Environment Day…

 1> 800 cans of hairspray.  One senior prom.  Any questions?

Wake Up, Brain

Wake Up, Brain

I’m stealing this from Epi who stole it from Bernice because my muse is AWOL.

1. What color is your toothbrush?

Green and grey… I think

2. Name one person who made you smile today?

The teenager who did a “”grab and slap” on my butt at work. Nice to know I still got it. :-). (It was most likely her thinking I was someone else, but it gave us all a laugh)

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?

Dragging myself out of bed to get ready to do a tour at work.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Reading Harry Potter and the Sourcer’s Stone with Treva and eating leftover Buffalo Bites.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?


6. Have you ever been to a strip club?

Look don’t touch kills the fun…And my wife would beat me deader than dead. 🙂

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?

That helicopter sounds really low. Hope he’s not going to crash into the building.

8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Moose Tracks/Rocky Road

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Cherrry Coke

10. Do you like your wallet?

It holds the wallety things…I’m good with it.

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Leftover Buffalo chincken things

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?


13. The last sporting event you watched?

The Baltimore Marathon. (I was working it)

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Cheese, or covered in butter and salt

15. Last person to send u a text message?

Not counting the Twitter ones, Treva

Wheres # 16?

Rolling around on an a tropical beach with my muse?

17. Do you take vitamins daily?


18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

Sadly, no. We are still trying to find a church…and failing.

19. Do you have a tan?

Does a florescent tan count?

20. Do you prefer Chinese food or Pizza?

Depends on my mood. I like both

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

In a restaurant or from a fast food cup. it’s just stupid to do so from a can or bottle.

22. What did your last text message say?

If you count the Twitter one I don’t recall. If I go back to the last “real” one, “What do you need?”

23. What are you doing tomorrow?

going to work

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

Cell phone, lamp, BCD-396XT scanner.

26. What color is your watch?


27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?

Judith Viorst’s Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”.

29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

If I walked or if I’m at the Wendy’s where not going in means my order gets messed up 8 ways from Sunday, I go in. If I’m in a car I usually hit the drive thru

30. What is your favorite number?


31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?

My sister

32. Any plans today?

I worked this morning, the rest of the day I’m vegging and doing a load of laundry so I have clean shirts.

33. How many states have you lived in?

Wisconsin, Minnessota, Indiana, and Maryland. I “lived” in Florida, and Georgia for a month each on a summer job, and Oklahoma for two months.

34. Biggest annoyance right now?

People who don’t have a clue.

35. Last song listened to?

“The Shepherd Lad” by the Battlefield Band

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can, and have been able to since I was [how old Mom?]. I can even do it while intoxicated.

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?

Yes, and I see them every time I look in the mirror holding a paper towel covered in Windex.

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?

My black steel toed boots

39. Are you jealous of anyone?

Not at all

40. Is anyone jealous of you?

I really don’t think so.

41. Do you love anyone?

Many people.

42. Do any of your friends have children?


43. What do you usually do during the day?

Work, mock stupidity, fool around on the computer.

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?

I have massive amounts of annoyance with people, but hating isn’t worth it.

45. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?

I tried answering the phone “ZIIIRRRRK!” just to be different, but it confused people.

46. What color is your car?

Bright Yellow (yay for Yellow Cab)

47. Do you like cats?

I can’t say it better Epi. “No.  I despise them with the intensity of a million hot burning suns.”

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?


49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?

Two of them. Great America in IL and America in MD.

50. How did you get your worst scar?

Head lac from doing something stupid as a kid. Sliced it open on the underside of one of those two person swing/glider things.

En Route: A Paramedic’s Stories of Life, Death, and Everything Inbetween

En Route: A Paramedic’s Stories of Life, Death, and Everything Inbetween

Kelly Grayson, the prolific, and often amusing, blogger behind A Day In the Life of an Ambulance Driver recently released his book En Route: A Paramedic’s Stories of Life, Death, and Everything in Between. The book is a collection of short stories relating his experiences first as an Emergency Medical Technician, and eventually Paramedic, in Louisiana.

If you enjoy reading stories ranging from the heart wrenching to the hilarious, and learning more about what goes on from the scene to the hospital, En Route should absolutely be on your “To Read” list.

Much more eloquent reviews have been written by Nurse K and crankylitprof so if you want a better review go read those. I will say this was absolutely worth confusing the security guards at EMS Today, who couldn’t understand why I was looking for the EMS conference, to get. 🙂

What Not To Do

What Not To Do

If you desire to end your day at the office without frustration, take note, the following is not how you send a report to a colleague for proofing.

  1. Write report
  2. Click File, Send To, Recipient as E-mail
  3. Enter e-mail address in the “To” field
  4. Accidentally start typing the message in the attachment field; erase beginning of message
  5. Write message in body field.
  6. Send message
  7. Close document without saving because: a) it’s attached to the e-mail and you likely won’t need it again; b) you’re trying to answer a question on the phone, and; c) you’re a moron.
  8. get an e-mail from colleague stating, “Sure, now try attaching the file”

*headdesk* CRAP!!! Yeah, deleted the attachment as well as the unintended text. Thankfully it was only a page and I can rewrite it.

EMS Blogmeet

EMS Blogmeet

Had a great dinner last night with Epi, Sam, Ambuulance Driver, Maddog Medic, Too Old to Work, Too Young to Retire, Eric, OldNFO and several others who either aren’t blogging or I didn’t get handles for. Most of them were in town for some portion of the EMS Today conference.

Thanks for making me feel welcome. You are a fun group of people who do amazing work. Here’s hoping we do it again.

My Particular Brand of OCD

My Particular Brand of OCD

I have a problem.

It’s not a huge problem. Nothing like smoking, or a personal crack habbit, or a serious liking of New Kids on the Block or something horrible like that which will almost certainly lead to an intimate knowledge of every rehab facility down the eastern seaboard. Nothing like that I assure you. What I suffer from is a ridiculous form of OCD (or, according to my colleague KZ “CDO, because if you have OCD it has to be alphabetized) that requires me to be bothered if a light is off and the switch is in the up position.

You know the kind of lights I’m talking about. There’s two switches and you can turn them on/off from wherever. Drive. Me. Nuts.

We have three of them in our apartment. The kitchen, the hallway, and Treva’s pride and joy, her walk-in closet. The kitchen and hallway lights are easy enough to avoid. I put enough crap near them to make reaching the secondary switch annoying at best.

It absolutely drives me batty when the switches aren’t all down. I have been known to walk out of my way just to set them to the “right” position.

last night I took some dry cleaning out of her closet and hit the switch closest to me. I had to flip it up. Ug! Treva was in the other door (I should clarify, her walk-in closet connects our bedroom to the master bathroom) so I didn’t fix it at the moment. I walked into the living room and out of the corner of my semi functional eye saw the light come on. I thought to myself “oops, guess she wasn’t done in there” and went on my merry way to spend quality time with my friend Dryel.

Fast forward to this morning when I hear, “You’ve made me inherrit your OCD.”

Me: Huh?
Her: Last night I had to fix the lightswitch. You have rubbed off on me.

It’s a disease folks. I’m telling ya.

Lifepod Meme

Lifepod Meme

Saw this on Facebook and Treva and I did it (separate MP3 players). Some of these are funny, others… odd. Leave a comment if you play along.

1. if you got tagged for this note – no worries if you don’t have time, but I find it very interesting knowing what’s on your iPod and it’s kinda fun – but you need to copy/paste this into your own facebook note or blog, delete my answers, and answer the questions using your own ipod.
2. put the ipod on shuffle
3. use it to answer the question
4. hit “next”
5. don’t cheat
6. tag some of your friends so they’ll do the same

1. How am I feeling today?
Tony: Shout to the North – Martin Smith
Treva: Oh My Lord – Kid Brothers of St. Frank

2. How far will I get in life?
Tony: You Shook Me All Night Long – ACDC
Treva: It’s Not Just Me – Rascal Flatts

3. What is my best friend’s theme song?
Tony: You’re Not My God – Keith Urban
Treva: Don’t Cheat in Our Hometown – Ricky Skaggs

4. What was high school like?
Tony: All Summer Long – Beach Boys
Treva: Turn the Radio Up – Eric Carmen

6. What is in store for me this weekend?
Tony: Love’s Recovery – Indigo Girls
Treva: America – Passion

7. What is the best thing about me?
Tony: Beauty and the Beast – Disney
Treva: Reborn – Rebecca St. James

8. What song is about my parents?
Tony: Emanuel – Michael W. Smith
Treva: Blue Christmas – Vince Gill

9. How is my life going?
Tony: Spanish Castle Magic – Jimmy Hendrix
Treva: Insensative – LeAnn Rhimes

10. What song will they play at my funeral?
Tony: Over You – Daughtry
Treva: When Love Comes to Life – Out of the Grey

11. How does the world see me?
Tony: That’s A Plan – Mark McGuin
Treva: You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly – Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn

12. What do my friends think of me?
Tony: Follow Your Dreams – Raze
Treva: Someday – Alan Jackson

13. Do people secretly think I’m good looking?
Tony: Substitute – The Who
Treva: I’d Rather Ride Around With You – Reba McEntire

14. How can I make myself happy?
Tony: NormaJean Riley
Treva: Fly Away – Allison Kraus and Julia Weltch

15. What should I do with my life?
Tony: Eyes Without A Face – Billy Idol
Treva: Sweet Little Jesus Boy – Rebecca St. James

16. What is some good advice?
Tony: Shine Jesus Shine – Rich Mullins
Treva: Holy and Anointed One – Randy Butler

17. Will I get married?
Tony: I Slipped and Fell In Love – Alan Jackson
Treva: Cajun Moon – Ricky Skaggs

18. Where will I go in life?
Tony: Reality – Newsboys
Treva: Santa Clause Is Coming to Town – Straight No Chaser

19. Will I have kids?
Tony: Glorify Thy Name – Donna Aktins
Treva: Wish I Didn’t Know Now – Toby Keith

20. What is my current theme song?
Tony: Rodeo – Garth Brooks
Treva: This Time – California Dreams